Funny.

Wow.. Before this, you said how gentleman he was and crap. and even long long ago, when you said you hate smokers. Now you're with one! funny. So why can he chat with the ex and u cant? oh well nvm. now u understand what it feels like when u emo me for taking picture with other people. Funny night. Don't know why.

Sorry about the fucked up english. Lazy type. Tata

SleepyHead

Hmm.. Last time till now, your still the same in 1 thing.. Whenever you feel sleepy or when ur about to fall asleep, you always talk to me in such a sweet and cute tone. Laughing with that voice on jokes that i make, making cute voices, and funny noises. That really makes me wanna hug you to sleep. But once you're awake, the cute side of you will be asleep, awaking the normal side of you =.=".

Like last night, we talked a while on the phone when you were feeling sleepy and tired, that sounds so comfortable, cute and cuddly to me.. Then you went to take a nap and asked me to wake you up later. And as I said, once i woke you up, you dont sound so cute anymore. =.="

And once again, we talked about those shits, and there I go emo again. But I was too tired to even feel emo. So I just went to sleep, hoping that my dream will come true. I wonder what's that dream..? Only you and I know.. lol.

Wtv. Im gonna go sleep. Babai. ( Hope you see this post then will call me in the middle of the night again =P )

What a date ( 31/08)

It has already been a year.. Went to celebrate your birthday with you and the bunch of frens again.. But this time as a different relationship.. Last year i celebrated with you as your boyfren but this year i celebrated with u as just a normal fren. Well, probably it's only me who is feeling such a difference. Everything they talked about tonite, I kept listening.. Because it reminds me of you..

First they talk about your birthday which is of course, made the biggest difference. When i made the surprise for you last year, gave you your ring.. Then they talked about Baskin Robbin, i remembered the ice cream i owe you. Then, about dogs. I don't even know where the dog i gave you went to. It's like, im letting my somehow daughter get a new father @@ wtf. Then, I heard that your family was gonna go overseas.. Which reminded me about the times when i stayed over your house.. Brings such sweet memories.. Even the way you dress makes me think about last time.. The things we do after the outings.. =.="

After you left, everytime i see a car pass by behind me, I hoped it was you.. But somehow you didn't come back.. The whole night, after the celebration, I just wanted to go somewhere far and just chill there alone.. But I didn't know why I asked you to go somewhere with me.. Maybe it's because this year's 31/08 and last year's 31/08 really is a big difference to me..

This is the end of my post I guess, there goes another emo post. FML
Still have much to type i think, but feel kinda lazy to think. Will post more next emotime. tata

What is there to hide?

Lol delete my post just to hide things from him? Scared of letting him know your stuff? Aww. Pathetic. If I really wanted to fuck your life up, I would've done that long long time ago.

Sigh..

Hearing things that I shouldn't have asked. FML. Finding out the truth hurts more than not knowing anything, and yet I still wanna know and had to ask. Now i'm like hanging halfway, not sure where to jump to. How i wish if the rope would just break and i can die right now. settle everything. dont have to be that stress anymore. not gonna fucking say anything anymore. just wanna go drinking and get tipsy or drunk and not think of any stuff and to talk to you. i dont know wtf im saying anymore. ima go sleep. good night world !

Last year on this day.

I remember we argued last year on this day. That time I was still in love with another gurl, and played with your love. In the end, I neglected your birthday and went to celebrate another person's birthday with her. After thinking back, I feel kinda foolish. I'm glad you've made the right choice, having a good, reliable and gentlemen boyfriend. People think that i've moved on. But the truth is, I still think of you every now and then. I still think of you and am still jealous of him. How foolish can I be knowing that you won't be back for me anymore. I keep thinking everyday, if I really had the chance, just a tiny little chance to get back with you, i'll treat u in the best way, and nvr gonna do the stupid stuffs i did to you last time. But, oh well, there's a 'if' everytime and most probably an 'impossible' in front of the 'if'. Do you even know why I treated you like that? It's because i keep thinking that I won't have a long relationship with you, and I keep thinking that I'm in love with another gurl. I keep treating you like that because I thought that incase i had a chance with her then i won't want to be with you anymore, thats why i chose not to treat u better. After breaking up with you, I realize, i dont love her at all, and the person i love most is you. Sigh.. It's still the end of our relationship, even after saying much things. All I can hope for is just to dream every night about you and wishing it will come true one day. I keep telling myself. If god were to give me a last single wish on the day before the day I die, I'm gonna wish to spend the last day with you. Spending each and every moment with you before my last breath.. ily

The end?

Sigh. 2 posts at 1 night. Can imagine how fucked up my life is. =.=" The only place where i can spam my thoughts and feelings without letting outsiders know and somehow let people know as well.
Now u tell me u loved the wrong person for almost a year, that you regret being with that person for almost a year, spent time with the wrong person. okay.. if this is what you say, then i dunno what else i have left to say. You even said u dont love me anymore, and your feelings decreased everynight u cry. But what about me? what about my feelings? So, now you said, this is the end of our story. I can't do anything since this is ur decision. Thanks for wasting ur time , money, ur so called 'youth' on me. You can finally break free from me and get the freedom that you want. Mixing with ur usual friends, doing whatever you want without anything stopping you. Sorry for what i've done and hope you'll find a better one in the future.